In this short guide I will explain to you how to renovate a house with little to no effort.

Step 1: Get a House That Needs Renovating

This step should be obvious. You can’t really renovate a house if you don’t have one, so crack open the classified ads or craigslist and find yourself a house. You should be looking for a “fixer upper” at a good price. A typical ad you might want to act on is:

For Sale! A house! This house is a “fixer upper” but you’ll love the price! It’s only $45.17 OBO and includes almost everything you need, including floor, wall (singular intended), cracked toilet, crawl space, and several mummified cat corpses. Don’t pass this deal up!

If your area happens to be in somewhat of a “dry spell” and you are unable to find a cheap fixer upper to buy, you can offer to destroy then renovate your neighbor’s house.

Step 2: Renovate Your House

For this step you will need to set aside a good amount time to really focus on the work at hand. About 10 years should do it. Renovating your house will be fairly simple because everything you need comes in a kit. This kit is called Home Depot. Simply go there and buy everything they have for sale. Actually, buy 2 of everything because you will inevitably lose and/or break almost everything you buy at some point in the process.

Just keep hammering and erecting things together until you reach behind you for the next part and you are out of parts. You’re done! Stand back and bask in the glory of a job well done making sure to dodge anything that might collapse around you.

In conclusion I’d like to say, “You’re welcome.”

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