What makes this holiday special so special? Well, how about all this stuff?!

Out-of-context quotes…

How can you not love a pan that you can just wipe with a dirty rag?

Corey Feldman is no Sammy Hagar that’s for goddamn sure!

Square dancing is a gateway drug.

They call that dream dick…you might want to lay off the Robitussin.

She was on the wrong end of a rape fantasy.

This is not good meth, because I’m super fat.

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